That somebody is me.

I always wanted to move back to this city and now that I did, the sad realization is this that, I dont enjoy it. The traffic is nuts, people are always in a rush and so, knowingly or unknowingly rude and mean. There are so limited resources for the number of people out here.

I didnt even realize when I became a small town girl, from being born in one of the biggest cities in the world, to now liking a slow paced life, where it doesnt take an hour to get from one place to another which is barely 15 kms away, where there are no big crazy line ups, where its not all about money, where you dont get stuck on the highway amongst hundreds of million over a long weekend trying to get away from the big city, where there is time to stay still. Its just go go go here.

And strangely, I feel like a victim these days, I have always been a fighter, so being a victim has never been on my cards. I dont fit in, I dont feel like myself.
The recent events have introduced me to crooks and businesses that only care about making money and I feel naive and cant never seem to differentiate the good from the bad.

I am hoping it will get better, if not, thats ok too. Its just a matter of moving back to home when the time is right.

Is it really happening? I am so thrilled, excited and relieved. Cant wait! 

Soon!!

Waiting impatiently in the morning for the call which came just half an hour before the result. Tears of joy and I broke down while talking to the partner CM.

Tears of joy for all the efforts,  for life finally moving ahead, for finally releasing the pressure on myself.

That moment, 11.28 at the clock..

Failing is a major setback but what you make out it undermines the future. Keeping two years on hold, having job insecurities, just for those 3 days is quite something.

Thank you God, thanks so much.

I feel relieved, thankful to papa, mummy, dolly, maryam and a major thanks to Sweta and Tejas.

Finally on my way to fulfilling my dreams.

There are times when you know you have changed, times have changed but its hard to keep up with this changing life, to keep up with yourself before you can march forward with the ever changing close ones...

Your past plays an important role, I see it today. That is what meant when Danielle came in my dreams last night,  the talk I had with SC, it was important to bring that thing out, that yes, I am insecure, that I dont want to be the third wheel, that I cant see myself being one because it had happened some years ago with Pillai. A natural instinct at an unconscious level...dreams, what tales they say!

Wow, a year has passed since I last posted and in this one year, I have done a self -check.
What I want, why do I feel sad at times, what is my idea of fun with friends.

I know I am unique and so is each person on this earth since no two people are alike.
I now look at myself with different eyes. These days, I have even started to make a list of things that I consider to be fun and should be done atleast once a lifetime. Just thinking about these things make me excited. I want to go rafting, parasailing, sky diving...learn swimming, learn to play an instrument, own a puppy....everyday, the list keeps on adding up. The idea is not to do all those things, but to realize what are the things that you want to do in life that makes it your life, "your kind of life" ..

So, now that I have figured myself out..(guess partially?)...I need to figure out something that I want to do throughout my life and I know when I indulge in these activities, I might be able to figure that out for myself and that is what my career would be ...even though, I am not yet sure what I want to be. I just pray that it does not take long enough for me to figure that out.