Day 1 of the last week

Although I might say it out loud that I dont wanna leave this nest after 4 years, today,  I think I am getting ready to open my wings and fly. All I need is people to tell me not to go. It doesnt make sense

I feel the connection is missing, I was so busy that I didnt realize it. I do today. Someone walked upto me and asked me.
On the flip side, I continue to make connections, those that should have been made long time ago, but better late than never...I ll always cherish this job, this life, the way it carved my life while I tried to shape others' lives.

Starbucks Gift card, missing the banana as 3rd prize, "you nailed it", clapping at the end of the class,"you are so popular", "you always sleep in this class", MM's capstone, shocking oph stories, catching up with friends, midnight bday surprises, random late night dinner......
 

I am ready, I am ready. Up with positivity down with the negativity.

"There are so many times I have let you down, so many times I have played around, I tell you now that they dont mean a thing...
Every place I go, I ll think of you....

Oh so kiss me and smile for me, tell me that you will wait for me, hold me like you never let me go...."  good times.

I believe that our paths will cross again...in a different world, in a different dimension because thats the connection we share....

Dear Pratik...

Even after four years, that hole in my heart is still vacant....in a way it is good, it remains sacred , it reminds me of you and on the other hand, it aches ...

Wherever you are, I hope you are fine.
The memories are always there, as fresh as new
I had always known and still do
Your love, your care
I miss you, but the pain continues to heal
Its just days like these that I dont feel fine
Promise me to meet when its time because I am not going to give up
I want to laugh with you just like old times..


Yeh dooriyan.....In raho ki yeh dooriyan....

Life has such a sarcastic humour! 13th March and it happens again, only worse this time.

Only if

Only if you understood the turmoil within me
Only if you knew what it meant to me
Only if you could imagine how it owe to be
Only if I could express it
Only if I was a painter to paint the image I wish you could see

Then maybe, I wouldnt be this insane and you would have nothing to complain

Har saaza mujhe mile, tujhe milne se pehle
Har dard ke kaate mere pairo ko chube, tere chalne se pehle

Main chahti toh bahot kuch hun, par haqeeqat aur sapno me kafi hai fasle
In faslo ko mitana aur kareeb aana aab lagta hai mushkil

Kal jab miloge tum hume kabhi, bata na payenge tumhe kuch
ankhen jhukha kar, bas chal padenge

tumhari nafrat sahenge aur kuch na kahenge
yeh hai mera pyar, bas yehi hai...

And so today you talked about the future, and there was no glimpse of me there. Thank you for letting me know

There are times when you know you have changed, times have changed but its hard to keep up with this changing life, to keep up with yourself before you can march forward with the ever changing close ones...

Your past plays an important role, I see it today. That is what meant when Danielle came in my dreams last night,  the talk I had with SC, it was important to bring that thing out, that yes, I am insecure, that I dont want to be the third wheel, that I cant see myself being one because it had happened some years ago with Pillai. A natural instinct at an unconscious level...dreams, what tales they say!

Admittance

There is a big difference between surviving and living..

You can survive without close ones, but with friends you live..