On a roller coaster of emotions today.

- felt good to talk to friends I have known for so long, brought me back to being who I have been


-felt so angry today for being so helpless, God only knows how many times I have been at this point, watched it all. Tried to change it, but it didnt work. So made a decision


one thing is for sure...i am not going to keep in touch...will severe all the connections...
sick and tired of this long distance crap, of seeing people leave, of keeping up.

you chose and made your decision, now its my turn.


- felt used for someone's comfort to fill someone's temporary life


- felt mad at myself for being so stupid

"chahiye jo tumhe pure dil se, milta hai woh mushkil se
 aisa jo koi kahin hai, bas wohi sab se haseen hai..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOOe2_2UMEQ

Har sahi rasta chuna, har sahi kaam kiye
kab na kisi ka bura chaha
kab na apne swarth ke liye kisiko rulaya

phir kyun har baar..phir kyun har baar.

Timing is everything apparently...being at the right place at the right time.

But yet, I firmly believe that if it is meant to be, it will happen.  

For some, its the hardest thing to say a No.

Toughest and most grilling decision of my life which after taking, I feel was wrong but the answer to that, only the future holds.



It ll be fine, it ll be ok, thats all I can hope for now. 

Barfii

You find someone that completes you, that compliments you..

And then you come to know it is not going to be for too long.

So, I have learnt to live in each of these moments that life brings me because I dont know where we all will be in a few years, married, with kids, busy.

And he told me this weekend, to live a little, to do silly things, to not be so calculative, so rational and let loose.

Will remember the good times, the non stop chatter,
the weekend highlight -
made it !
shaved clean!
busy byward market
shopping - dress, watch
beavertails
are you sure? smoke situation
stone face dollys
conspiring with Jij to make him stay
missing the red light while driving
pool and then losing!
drama around smoking
sleeping listening to beysura eh dil mohabat

the pained left arm
shopping again
walk at Dow's lake
second try at smoke story
greyhound long lineup
the last minute confessions

Things you watch, things you think ,some of them are complete opposite to the real world.

then how do you keep this balance of your ideal world and reality? how do you mesh the two together?

People walk out all the time to make space for new ones to come into your life.


Eh dil, sambhal ja zara.

Mixed feelings. Drowned. Silent. Fearful. Coincidence. Letting down. Unfinished goals.

Feeling not prepared, unconfident, lack of technical knowledge...the list is endless.

Yet calm, there is not a lot you can do at this point and there is not a lot you can lose.


Will do my best. One day to go. 

Its almost here...nope, no more words today. 

Tere jane ka ghum itna satane laga, ki teri khushi dikhi nahi.
Pata na chala kab itne khudgarz bante chale gaye hum.

Kabhi zindagi se puchenge ki humme mauka kyun na mila,
diya bhi toh jaise baarish ki boond sa.

Hum toh khuda se fariyaad karne nikal pade hai
Ayaa tha koi, phir chalne lage hai wohi.

Koi khata na thi na koi berukhi
Isse kehte hai zindagi, bas apni marzi.

To smile while saying a goodbye

Life is ever changing and I just cant seem to keep up with it.

Its weird how I met you just sometime ago and it is already time to say goodbye to you.
Its true that you came for a reason and now that reason seems like its met, its time to bid a bye.
But I am glad I met you, for you showed me how easy it is to smile and how contagious it is, especially when I needed it the most.
Thanks for everything, I wont have anyone around to ask if they had lunch or dinner, how many sales.
Gonna miss you buddy!

PS- I just figured out today how your initials TP are completely opposite of PT, someone you remind me of so many times.